Hold the phone (haha get it? Hotline bling? Phone?), if you don’t know what I’m talking about you might be living under a musical rock, and that can’t be comfortable. Go right now, and watch Drake’s music video for “Hotline Bling”.
Welcome back from that, wonderfully weird piece of art. I’ll start off by saying, I love the song. I think it’s a great example of when rappers can crossover into mainstream “pop” music. The video, on the other hand, left me a little perplexed. Upon first viewing it, I was just very confused as to the idea behind the video. It sort of reminded me of club decorated like a rubix cube. But now, I’ve watched it a couple of times (as well as every possible parody made) and now I can say I honestly love it. I will explain now why I do like, through the evolution of thoughts that popped into my head as I saw this masterpiece.
The Spice Girl
You’re only kidding yourself if you didn’t hold your arms up and dance like that to The Spice Girls’ “Wannabe”. With your girls, by yourself, sometime in your life you’ve done this. I have. I wanna zig-a-zig ahhhh.
Carlton Banks Hype For Picture Day
First of all, this dance move has me thinking of Carlton Banks from Fresh Prince of Bell Air, but just with a little more swag. But why is his outfit something a mom in the 90’s would dress her son in for picture day? Business on-top, casual on the bottom so they can still run and play. In fact, take my yearbook from 1999/2000, I guarantee this outfit is in it.
Every Guy In His 20s Doing Freestyle Dancing Ever
The scene is set: A group of guys in their 20s are asked to freestyle dance, and I swear to you at least one of them is doing this. His leg may be elevated a la Captain Morgan, but none the less, the awkward air humping is still there. Not sure who they’re trying to impress.
The Dougie AKA Back To Swag
I’m sure this is the one dance move that I’m not surprised about but was not expecting. But honestly I wasn’t expecting him to dance at all.
Drake looks like he went to a Mexican restaurant. had a margarita, and got a little too tipsy. And then he got up and danced as he was leaving. My dad has actually done that.
And Now He Goes Nap Nap
I have no words.
Everybody Dance Now
One of my go-to dance moves. Guaranteed to please, not too good and not too bad. Seen here with a foot-pop to raise the bar.
“We Have Chaperons Tonight”
This is how you dance if you’re at a high-school dance that has chaperons. Get close to bae, but not too close. Throw in some fancy footwork to distract from your hips touching.
Checking Your Hair After Something Requiring Effort
Making sure your bobby pins are still there, or your pony tail isn’t falling. Seen after doing a vigorous dance or maybe even a fight with another female. Check to make sure both sides are intact.
I’m not sure what he’s praying to or for, but all I’m hoping is that I can have some of that strength during midterms week. Amen.
This is the dance my mom says my dad does when he drinks.
It’s A Spaceship
First of all, I’m really jealous that he’s got this light up set. Second, I’m also jealous that he is getting paid to just sit there and lip-sing to the camera. Third, I don’t know what the stairs are connected to but I’m pretty sure it’s a spaceship.
Rapper or MetalHead?
I have seen similar moves when listening to a heavy metal band, and I think he’s just really excited about his hotline “blinging”. He needs some dreads and skinny jeans and he’s good to go. Also, the longer I watch this video the more I think he’s starting to look like a skinny Rick Ross.
What I do when I see someone I don’t want to talk to.
I Wanna Dance Like Drake
At some point, I realize that dancing with Drake would be fun. He lets loose, and doesn’t worry about what people are gonna say about his dancing. He knows he might be made fun of, and instead of standing still and not dancing, he embraces his dance style. I wish I could be as carefree as him when I dance around other people. That is the main reason I like the video, his dancing is something I strive to be able to do, carefree and fun. All of us have Drake’s dancing inside of us, we just need to let it free.